Jimmy's First Birthday

I waited to update this blog because I thought Eric was going to make a photo slideshow, as he usually does for the kids' birthdays. In fact, I think he is working on it, because I noticed he created a new folder on the computer and has lots of files of photos of Jimmy's first year.

Wow, I can't believe Jimmy has already been here for a year. I remember his birth so vividly, like it was yesterday-- and of course the puzzling thing about love is that it feels like yesterday, and it feels like a lifetime. I feel like I've always known Jimmy; I can't imagine what my life was like without him. It's a familiar, tricky feeling; I could say the same about Josie, about Eric. Time moves so swiftly.

I didn't write much about Jimmy's actual birth in this blog. At the time, it felt very personal and too sacred to share. It was a huge personal triumph for me to birth on my own terms. Josie's birth was traumatic and Jimmy's birth was healing. So, in celebrating his first birthday, I also mark the occasion for me; a year ago a trans-formative event took place. A year ago I felt like a superwoman. It's my day, too.

Anyway, at one year old, Jimmy says a few words. He says "Mama" but can't stop at "mama" and usually says a whole string of mas. Mamamamamama. He say "this?" as he holds something up, or points around. He can say "more" but, like mama, doesn't want to stop at the end of the word so we hear a lot of "mormormormormore" He signs: Milo, mom, dad, more, all done, water, cup, and nurse. He's learning more every day. Physically, he can walk and almost run. He walks full time, now-- I rarely see him crawl. How can that be? A year ago he laid still all day, slept mostly. And now he's practically running through the house.

He's the sweetest baby boy (I am allowed to still call him a baby) that I could ever ask for. I still find myself in disbelief that he's here-- just today as I laid him down to nap, he did the same thing he's done since he was a newborn: as he fell asleep he acted like he was still nursing, his little mouth and tongue moved so sweetly. He was so peaceful, it must be so nice to be one year old.